“Do you want to see tonight’s game in the company box?”

This was the question put to me by my wife late last Friday afternoon. Well, I was pretty tired and was looking forward to crashing out on the couch and watching the game from the comfort of home, but then I realized: I had a job to do. Too long had I neglected to write an update for At The Garden. The truth is, I felt like I had run out of things to talk about.

But this was the chance to sit among the elite – captains of industry and social gadflies – and catch a game to boot! Of course, I said yes. I took my finest suit from the closet and, with my wife, headed to Olde Manhattan Towne for a night of hockey and light conversation.

Your correspondent, resplendent in his finery.

THE MYTH

We all have our preconceptions of what viewing a game from a luxury box must be like. Trying to sleep on the train ride down, I imagined what the night held in store…

When one gets to the Garden, their own personal valet accompanies them to the suite. There, after a hot shower to remove the grime of the peons that were encountered along the journey, a toga and olive laurel are provided for each guest.

The service is a cut above in the suites.

The teams take the ice, and salute the box. Minutes into the game, Dvorak makes a boneheaded play. Trots looks up at Sather. Sather looks over toward me. I give him a thumbs-down motion, and Devo is pulled from the ice and thrown to the Panthers - or possibly the Flames. It matters not. DANCE PUPPETS! DANCE!!!

“Next stop – Grand Central Station!”

I awaken from my dream. We leave the train and head to MSG, excited about what lies ahead.

THE REALITY

We went to the Garden Club entrance, where we were wanded by security and directed toward a long escalator ahead of us. If you’ve ever gone to the Play By Play, you know what I’m talking about. At the top of the escalator, we are greeted by Victorian-era carolers (guess the top hat was a good idea, after all) performing for a private party. We boarded an elevator and headed for the Suites.

Maya and I were the first to arrive in our suite, so we got to check it out before others got there. Let me tell you – it WAS sweet! A bar stocked with top-shelf liquor, a refrigerator full of beer, and a waitress who checked in on us periodically to make sure that we were satisfied. Also – and this is key – each suite has its own bathroom. No running to the public facilities between periods for us; leave that to the common crowd below!

Unfortunately, there wasn’t a food spread provided that night. If we wanted food, we had to order it ourselves. I was famished, so we checked out the menu. Here’s the problem: because you’re in the suites, the menu is set with portions and prices meant to serve twelve people. We decide to get the order of chips, salsa and guacamole – a veritable bargain at $30.

The game starts, and I’m on my second G&T when the food arrives. Hmm. Perhaps this platter serves twelve if Christ was our waiter, but to me it looked like it would serve four at best. Thirty bucks for a bag of Tostitos and a bowl of guac...

Watching from the suite is great. There’s nobody to stand up in front of you, the cotton candy guy doesn’t obstruct your view at key moments, and nobody wears those stupid “puckhead” hats. But I have to tell you – it felt kind of sterile. We were with several other people, and I got the feeling that Maya and I were the only real hockey fans there. On the way home that night, she told me that someone said something to the effect of “I’m not into hockey – I just came for the free drinks.” To me, that’s a wasted ticket. Most real fans never get the opportunity to sit in the luxury suites, and it was a nice experience. Let me tell you – Tanqueray has a surprising power to assuage the pain of a loss. Although, at the time we had NO IDEA how seriously the injury to Bure would resonate through the papers the following day.

Bottom line – It’s a nice experience, but it doesn’t really feel like you’re at a game. I think that I’d rather sit with the real fans than in isolation. Save your money and get a kick-ass home theater system with a large HDTV.

Next time – ATG went on the road back in November and caught a game at the United Center in Chicago. I’ll draw some comparisons between the Chicago experience and your “typical” garden night.

See you Monday, when I rejoin the most extraordinary "common crowd" I know for the San Jose game.

-Chris

Special Thanks to Tim Hotaling, who made this article possible when he passed on the tickets. Hope your daughter’s feeling better!

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