Fact of Fiction: Does the NHL have a Napoleon Complex?

Napoleon Complex, n: An arrogant and aggressive demeanor
that arises to combat insecurity about one's small stature

Like Rosie O'Donnell's underwear in a marathon, this idea
will ride up on you if you give it time.

The NHL really does have a Napoleon Complex, and when you
accept this, the league's actions and results are
startingly predictable. Let me explain...

The League

After his appointment in 1981, David Stern raised the NBA
from a league besought with minimal tv exposure and
with drug problems, to an elite marketing force.

Feeling left out of the success, in 1993 NHL owners
solicited NBA management to re-create its success and
lift them out of the second tier.

Their first choice was Russ Granik, who declined. So the
owners went and hired Gary Bettman.

Selection by association always works well, doesn't it
Bruce Driver?

Gary Bettman

Stern brought Bettman to the NBA in 1981 where he became
the lawyer who put together deal details. A valuable
asset, but he never learned the genuine interpersonal
skills that made Stern successful.

Thrust into the top role at the NHL, Bettman remains a
person who requires layers of protection between him
and combatants. He lacks accessibility, reeks of
insincerity, and issue edicts on sensitive on-ice matters
from an ivory tower.

And he's short.

Colin Campbell

Like Bettman, Campbell lucked into his job by being an
assistant coach of a Cup champion. He received buckets
of money for one good run in the playoffs that was
led by legend Wayne Gretzky.

But Campbell didn't accept his firing (and money) with
grace, instead harboring not only ill-will towards the
Rangers, but also a thin skin that was rubbed dry by the
intense New York media and fans.

Again thrust into a spotlight he didn't merit, Campbell
has used his position to decree punishment selectively
according to his personal whims.

The Results...

Nowadays, I can almost hear Statler and Waldorf laughing
at the NHL because the league's efforts are as
successful as Gonzo's attempts to blow the trumpet at
the end of every Muppet Show theme song.

Ask a question about obstruction (an initiative that
began in 1995, when Smith traded Zubov because he
feared unobstructed forwards would neutralize the
finesse defenseman)?

You'll get a chippy answer that officiating is great.

Ask a question about suspensions?

You'll get a short answer about a private phone call
that Campbell had with 'Mr. Purinton.'

And doesn't this put into perspective their obsession
with Theo Fleury last year?

The Upcoming CBA

Um, it doesn't bode well. My solution is one that I wrote
about a few articles ago: get a puppy.

Byt the time hockey shuts down in two years, you'll have
a well-trained dog ready to spend your free time with.

I got my bullmastiff two weeks ago.

I'll give Scott a picture to see if he can post it.

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