New York ties New Jersey, 2-2, which is about as good a stocking stuffer as Ranger fans can expect these days. Gritty and entertaining holiday treat for everyone in the Metro area. And after the game Bryan Trottier aired all his grievances against Radek Dvorak before gathering everyone around the Festivus pole for the Feats of Strength. Later they roasted chestnuts and sang Christmas carols around the smoking heap of Dave Karpa.
And later still, when all were asleep, Glen Sather snuck into the Garden to steal all our banners--Our jerseys, our trophies, our fine New York manners. And as he readied to leave, his pockets lined with our green--He turned to find young Dan Blackburn, only 19. "Why are you stealing all of our team?" the young goalie cried. "Who's stealing? I'm fixing!" that cold Slats replied. And back to Banff fled the Slats with all of our stuff--"That's for stealing Mark Messier!" he said with a gruff. In the morning fans woke to find MSG looted--Our banners were gone, our pride had been rooted. But we locked arms anyway: friends, family, and strangers--And still chanted our war-cry. "Let's Go Rangers!"
The Gift That Keeps On Giving
Mike "The Dude" Dunham may not have a whole lot of wins so far (um, just one, actually) but his numbers have been pretty impressive, including last night's 2.00 GAA, .952 SV% performance. He looks fairly confident too. Now I may have made too many trips to the egg-nog bowl, but with some solid goaltending and a healthy squad in the next few weeks, maybe the Blueshirts can pull together some post-holiday miracles and get themselves back in the playoff hunt. It could happen, but bear in mind I also believe in Santa Claus. And I'm drunk! Ho Ho Ho! Merrrrrry Christmas! And in case you're curious, Mike Richter still has visions of sugerplums dancing in his head. Get some rest, Mikey. Santa is on his way.
Open Letter to Santa Claus
Dear Santa--For Christmas this year I want the same thing that I've wanted last year: to see the New York Rangers make the playoffs. I've tried to be a good boy and say nice things about everyone, even though some of the people here are useless morons, but lately it seems like things have gotten even worse. The kids in Tampa Bay and Minnesota are even starting to laugh at me. I don't think I'm asking for much, Santa. I've been a perfect citizen and a good role model ever since I came here, but I don't think I can continue to be this good if the losing ways don't change. Your pal, Eric Lindros. PS--Can you trade Radek Dvorak? And would it be too much to ask for a power forward?
News, If You Care
Tom Poti was out with the mysterious "I played the worst 60 minutes of my life on a bum foot last game so is there any way we can keep me out of the next one without making a big deal of my hidden injury" flu, which seems to be going around the Rangers locker room these days. Brian Leetch is still at least a week away from returning; Dale Purinton is at least two. Otherwise there are no sleepers, no snorers, no untapped resources ready to burst.
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Tidings of Comfort and Joy
Merry Christmas, Eric Lindros and Bobby Holik. Merry Christmas, Tom Poti and Dale Purinton. Merry First Christmas, Mike Dunham. Merry Christmas, Antichrist Nedved. Merry Christmas, Brian Leetch--good luck with the foot gremlins! Merry Christmas, Barns, Sandy and Petro. Merry Christmas, Methuselah and Kasparminus. Merry Christmas, Evil Pavel Bure--get well soon! Merry Happy Fun Time, Mike Richter. Merry Christmas, Radek Dvorak, you useless prd, and Mikael Samuelsson, you prd-in-training. Merry Christmas, Vlad and Sly. Happy (belated) Hanukkah, Josh Green. Merry Christmas, Billy Tibbetts and Gordie Dwyer. Merry Christmas, Rico Fata. Merry Christmas, Dan Blackburn and Jamie Lundmark--Santa is coming kids! Merry Christmas, Richard and Joel and Cory. Merry Christmas, Dave Karpa.
Happy Holidays!!!
Next game is Thursday against Alex Kovalev and the sinking ship known as the Pittsburgh Penguins. Happy Holidays to everyone. God bless us, every one, even guys like Radek Dvorak and Dave Karpa.
Posted by Brian at December 24, 2002 05:20 PMeMail this entry!
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