Hockeybird.com: "We're Going To Make the Playoffs"

This quote comes directly from our new head coach/General Manager/Team President/Tyrant and Dictator-for-Life/Organizational Despot/Dung God/Fisher King/Master of Puppets/Supreme Ruler of the Rangers Universe, Glen Sather. Yup. Unless you live under a rock or, um, just don't give a lick about the Rangers, New York positively fired Bryan Trottier after 54 days in office. Trots seemed like a decent guy for an ex-Isle, though his holistic goody-goody approach to the NHL's most dysfunctional Romper Room came off like a 10th-grade Calculus teacher trying to quell a prison riot at Oswald State. Nice try, Bry. Make sure they don't pay your severance in Cablevision stock.

After the swearing-in ceremony and everyone signed their loyalty oaths in blood, there was actually a game to be played, a game that--get this--the Rangers lost in overtime, 4-3. OK, so they eeked out a point with a nice comeback and showed some flashes of interest, but they still fumbled the lead with under five minutes. Mike Dunham played not so Dudely (4 goals against, .862 SV%), but no one is going to benefit more from the break than El Duderino. Sure, The Dude's old lady is knocked up and he's fighing some major harshness from the last week, but The Dude knows how to relax. I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that.

The Lindros, Holik, and Barnaby line responded to Slats semi-bloody coup with their best game in a week, though Big E flubbed the potential game winner in OT, much to the chagrine of El Presidente. Antichrist Nedved was reunited with his two Czech minions of evil, Ronald Petrovicky and Prd Dvorak, and snapped twine for a huge power play goal: once again it seems Nedved will meet his 25G-25A Satanic quota as one of the most irrelevant, unmovable, roster-ready fantasy forwards in all of hockey. Nothing else of interest here, unless you wanted to hear a bucketload of Mark Messier quotes in which the word "accountability" is tossed out more than Theo Fleury in the Champagne Room.

Pavel Bure News--For those of you that were concerned after reading the report in a small Moscow-area newspaper that said Pavel Bure was out for the season and may be considering retirement, Pavel says, "Nyet!" Bure is still in pain and having trouble skating, but whether or not he makes it back to the ice this season is still a question for the 8 Ball. My best completely uninformed totally random guess is that the Rangers record, more than anything else, will determine whether or not he comes back. If they fold into a fetal position in the next three weeks and you can't afford to keep Bure on the roster, my advice is to let him go.

Good news, Brian Leetch owners! Horatio spotted the fallen Rangers king walking the platform of MSG last night, and there were rumors that his canonized bones, hearsed in death, burst their cerements at Rangers practice that afternoon. Sans Shakespearean flourish, that means that Leetch skated with his team and may be ready to play again within the next few weeks. Meanwhile, Hamlet Poti had an indecisive game--frailty, thy name is Poti. Vlad Malakhov played awful but continues to climb the Player Rater (#58 and climbing), while sleepers Joel Bouchard (who's probably just keeping Leetch's spot warm in the roster) and Dale Purinton had unremarkable evenings.

Rangers owner and Axis of Evil member Jim Dolan sternly addressing the press before last night's game: "I'm challenging all of YOU now. I'm predicting right now that this team is going to make the playoffs, and go far in the playoffs. I'm tired of reading about the backseat drivers and 20/20 hindsight in the press. If you don't think we're going to make the playoffs, you say so now! Um, I believe the giggling correspondent from ESPN has his hand up." So do you really want to know what I think about this circus? I'm thrilled. I love chaos and drama. The Rangers are brilliant reality programming. And you know what else? Screw it. We are making the playoffs. I guar-an-damn-tee it. I'm riding the Sather Express straight into the friggin' sun. See you on the other side, chumps.

Last quote, William Faulkner, which sums up all the media-blitzing and rhetoric of the past few days: "They all talked at once, their voices insistent and contradictory and impatient, making of unreality a possibility, then a probability, then an incontrovertible fact, as people will when their desires become words." Next game is Wednesday vs. Ottawa. Rome is burning. Emperor Nero is coaching the Rangers. Enjoy the All-Star Break.

Brian, Brian, Brian

This was NOT just LOL, it was LMAO!

I saw Dude's wife on a game broadcast. Would you ever put her and the Dude together? Opposites attract, eh! Hope she gets a job up here in the Apple. She has Sam and JD shilling for her already.

I think I needed the break to let my anger subside about Trotts being fired. For good or not, I liked him and thought he was ill used.

Speaking of opinions, I never thought I would ever agree with Stan Fischler on anything because for years he was an Islander tool in the bad old days. He can tell it like it is now because he doesn't have to depend solely on MSG for his livelyhood. I like they way he called out Holik. God, let's hope Mr. Personality is never Captain! It's better than the corporate drivel Sam and JD feed us. I got really pissed off when JD flip flopped on Fleury. Not for Fleury but for the flip flop. Corporate tools.

Someone should advise JD just to be charming and funny, which he does adequately and leave original thinking to you people at Hockeybird!

Posted by: mhurley on February 4, 2003 06:37 PM