Hockeybird.com: Your Ranger Heritage

I've come to realize something over the last few days. Something I already knew, but a conclusion I've come to reach from a different angle this time:

Once again, the entire NHL is up in arms about the Rangers. Once again, Mike Milbury is thinking of filing a tearful grievance to the league about them. Once again they're being blamed for everything from ruining the NHL to deforestation to the lack of protein in UNICEF meals.

And it hit me today: How great is that? Good or bad, first place or last, the Rangers will be noticed! They will take all the headlines! They will piss you off! Every other team who loses in this league, they go down quietly, like a leaf falling off a tree. Not the Rangers. They go down with all the noise and commotion of a drunk and shirtless hillbilly being pulled off his porch in an episode of COPS.

Maybe you're thinking, with a pout on your face and a stamp of your angry little foot, "but it's just not right!". Well, cry me a river, Dorothy. I'm tired of hearing about what's right all the time already. I'm tired of knee-jerk, simple minded and cliched arguments about how the Rangers are ruining the league. If I read the phrase "tear it down and rebuild" one more time my eyeballs are going to explode (as if tearing it down and rebuilding was even a realistic option, but that's for another time).

Admittedly, when I first read of who the Rangers gave up in the Kovalev trade, whether I physically did it or not, I kind of slumped in my chair and looked around slyly, like I just grabbed an eyeful of prime cleveage from a High School girl bending over to pick up some spilt change at the mall. The Rangers just gave up three players anyone in the NHL could've taken off of waivers for free this season, plus a player in Samuelsson who's every bit as annoying as promising, for one of the five best offense players in the game! Oh wait, not just that. The Rangers also got three bits of waiver wire filler back, a bunch of filler who are no worse than the filler they just gave up. Actually, a healthy Janne Laukkanen is easily the second best player in the deal. It may also stand to be seen that Dan Lacouture is the third best player in the deal, we'll see. But feel bad? No, I feel great! I've stared the jailbait boobage right in the face and said to myself, "They were right there, right in my line of sight! What, should I have asked for her age first? Who among you wouldn't have done the same??".

And that's what the "problem" is. It's not really that the Rangers are ruining the league, it's that everyone else's team either didn't get or couldn't make such a sweet deal. The older and budweiser I get, the more I've come to grips with one of the undeniable facts of life: Everyone wants to win. Oh, people may come up with all sorts of philosophies and theories and postulations about why they think what they think is good for all of humanity, and if people would just listen to what they say the world would be a much better place. And maybe, in some extreme cases like Mother Theresa or Ghandi, they're on the level. Not necessarily right, but at least unselfish. But all this posturing about what's good and fair and just for the league, or for the country, or for the world, it's a lot of hot air flapping. People want to win. What other people like, they want you to like, or at least respect. What people think, they want you to think, or at least respect. And I'm not casting aspersions down from upon high, I'm right in the soup with everyone else. I'll argue that the league doesn't need a salary cap, and I think my points are logical, but I certianly can't say for certain I'd be singing the same tune if I were a fan of the Calgary Flames.

Is there something majorly wrong with the playing field in this league when one division rival trades off one of the best offensive players in the league to another division rival for the equivalent of pocket change? You bet. But that's not really what I'm addressing here. The Rangers didn't hold a gun to Craig Patrick's head, or hold his dog for ransom. They didn't do anything illegal. So that's enough of that. Now, among Ranger fans, those expressing misgivings over this trade that it's the same old Rangers, never getting the point, unwilling to accept the facts of defensive life in the NHL these days; I'll keep the other points about how the Rangers did need more offense and a better power play to the side for now to simply say: Run with it!

The hated Rangers, despised around the league. Never building with youth, always throwing good money after bad. Team after team filled with mercenaries, misfits and drunks. Perennial losers. No character. No chemistry. Don't you just love 'em? Think about it for a minute, don't you just love 'em?

This is our heritage! When that's the hand you're dealt, and it's the hand you're always dealt, you can learn to accept it, to revel in it, or grind your teeth to nubs with all that gnashing.

Kovalev is the Rangers! Enigmatic, quirky and extremely talented, yet undisciplined and selfish. This has always been the Rangers. The sordid stories surrounding the late 1970's Ranger teams are legendary to anyone who knows them. The 1980's saw sideshows like Phil Esposito in a tuxedo, Guy LaFleur and Marcel Dionne. The 90's were Messier, Gretzky, the barrel of monkeys that is Mike Keenan and a Stanley Cup won in a manner better than any Hollywood script writer could come up with. This decade alone has already produced the must-see-TV of Theo Fleury, Kevin Stevens, the hiring and speedy firing of an Islander legend, and a hall of fame coach coming down from his perch to step behind the bench for the first time in a decade.

This is the Rangers! They grab the headlines from last place. More interesting things happen to them or because of them in one season than probably the rest of the league combined. And everyone hates them for it. Learn it, love it. Or don't. Me, I spent the most of the off-season caterwauling for a tough, no-nonsense, defense first coach like Burns or Hitchcock. During the season I've constantly railed for the Rangers to play some version of the trap. To finally get in line with the simple, safe winning formula that the rest of the NHL follows. Follow? Formula? Simple? Safe? The Rangers?! I'm ashamed! Ashamed for, a. thinking something like this would actually happen, and, b. denying my Ranger Heritage in the first place.

If the Rangers traded all their high priced superstars for poor hockey orphans from the local boy's home, they'd still be hated. There's nothing you can do about it. Revel in it. "Hi, simple, hard working farmer from a small Canadian town. I'm here to force you off your land so I can build a roller disco on it. After all, I'm a Ranger fan". I say we buy the Penguins outright and make them our alternate minor league team. I don't care anymore. Arguing this stuff is pointless. It comes down to nothing but people wanting to win. For their cause, or team, to be the one. Revel in it. Like this: Complain and cry away, Haters of the Rangers. Keep dreaming we'll get our comeuppance in 2004. But remember this fact; The NHL needs the New York Rangers a hell of a lot more that it does your two-bit hockey team. Revel in it, Ranger fans, for all the altruistic hand-wringing on your part won't change a thing.

If the Rangers tailored their organization like many hope they will, to focus on young, hard working, resposnible two-way hockey players, they'd still lose. After nearly a decade on the internet, arguing every minutia of this team day after day, I've had enough of it. I'm going with the flow. Accepting my Ranger Heritage. Pour the wine, bring on the women, fire up the marching band, the Rangers are playing tonight! The New York Rangers, one of sports' most distinctive franchises. Tell me, would you rather be the Red Wings, a team the American hockey media is so in love with that they come off like a cross between an episode of The Care Bears and Friends? Would you rather be the Devils, those nose to the grindstone, no nonsense worker bees, who's character and heart is oh so compelling despite the "tragic" lack of respect they get in their own area and around the league? Or would you rather be the Rangers, the team that punches mascots, the team that gets caught with crack and a hooker in a motel room, the team that evetually gets every major star in the league to play for their team? The team with a history of the most quirky, egotistical general managers in the league, the team that goes through coaches and high-priced players like a bunch of Shriners at a clam bake? The team who's fans can't be beaten away with a stick and come back for more of the same abuse, year after year?

The team that, rain or shine, first place or last, never goes down quietly. The team that can't be mistaken for any other team in the league. The team that always does things their own way, and everyone else be damned?

Just one word Pete: Great!!!!

Posted by: LP on February 12, 2003 05:00 PM

Brilliant

Posted by: jwj on February 12, 2003 05:20 PM

Good article. The Rangers DEFINITELY get a bum wrap regarding their big-spending ways. How come no one talks about the Bruins WAY overpaying for LaPointe?

And the last time I checked, the Flyers are ALSO owned by a huge Cable TV Corporation, so don't give us "the Rangers have more money than everyone else" crap. The Rangers are just reckless about the way they spend it, just like George Steinbrenner is!! That's why we love 'em!!!

Keep up the good work and...LET'S GO RANGERS!!

Posted by: Terry on February 12, 2003 05:21 PM

I'm pissed at myself for not writing this. Nice job. Makes my Alex Kovalev article look like something I wrote in the snow.

Posted by: Leedsy99 on February 12, 2003 05:32 PM

So far this season I've been to 14 games at MSG and seen the Rangers win 3 times. I've watched players who make more money than I'll make in a hundred lifetimes play without passion or heart and embarrass themselves and their fans.

The point is BAD HOCKEY is BAD HOCKEY.

How can you compare Steinbrenner and the Yankees to the Rangers? If the Yankees underperform, Steinbrenner is kicking ass and taking names.

Who the F*&^ is accountable for the Rangers?
Hello, the people who fill the seats are!

Headlines in tabloid newspapers don't impress me.
They are the opiate of the masses.

I'm just glad the day the Kovalev deal went down, Hull scored 700 and stole some of the headlines from the "Sather Circus".

In the words of PT Barnum, "There's a sucker born every minute and someone to take them."

I'll always be a Ranger fan but don't ask me to like what's gone down for the last 5 years.

It's not whether you win or loose, It's how you play the game.

BAD HOCKEY IS BAD HOCKEY.

Posted by: mhurley on February 12, 2003 06:54 PM

"mhurley",

A. Get a sense of humor.

B. "It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game"? Uh, no. Sorry. It's whether you win that counts in professional sports. You seem to be EXACTLY the kind of hand-wringing, overly idealistic Ranger fan I was talking about in my article.

Go hug a tree.

Posted by: Rocha on February 12, 2003 08:02 PM

Rocha,

I have a great sense of humour, I'm out of patience. I also appreciate the fact that people are tired of paying their hard earned money to witness mediocrity. I have given the Rangers the benefit of the doubt all season. As long as my kids give it their best shot, I'm proud of them and HUG them and let them know it, even if they don't win. I buy my ticket, make the effort to get there from far away and watch the game with intensity. In other words, I show up. Too bad The Rangers don't.

Let's try it again, Bad Hockey is Bad Hockey.

When the Rangers fail to make the playoffs again, I'll even hug you. I hold no grudges.

Posted by: mhurley on February 12, 2003 08:21 PM

I laughed my a$$ off in spite of myself!
Brilliant article and absolutely hilarious as usual.

Posted by: Tina on February 12, 2003 08:46 PM

Ahh.. but we're not playing the game .. we're just the dumb schmucks looking for entertainment .. and while wins would be one type .. gallavanting cash all over the poor and listening to them whine .. certainly is entertainment .. sure more in the way of Reality TV then quality cinema .. but hey .. its what we got!

Posted by: Ethan Rosch on February 12, 2003 11:12 PM

hehehehe! :-D that's it! NY Ranger's hockey is the NHL's "Real World"!

Posted by: Tina on February 12, 2003 11:16 PM

best article in some time.that sums it up
nice job

Posted by: TONY on February 13, 2003 12:54 PM

Rocha:

The problem is that hockey, along with football, are sports where you cannot buy yourself a championship with key players. We get (and watch) the Canadian feeds off the dish, and the Great White North is not mad at us - it is laughing in our face. JD endures constant abuse from Al Strachan about how this team underperforms. The lack of effort is noticed, and the hockey establishment wonders out loud how a player can be so effective for other teams and be so ineffective for the Rangers. If we are pissing people off, it is because our team wears "New York" on its jersey, and for no other reason.
As for me, I'm sick of losing, sick of watching bad hockey, and sick of having to find "alternate" teams to follow in the playoffs. The Rangers are not a hockey team, thay are corporate welfare for the rest of the league. If this continues, the league will not need a payroll tax to fund small-market Canadian teams - it has us. BTW - notice how the Rangers' free-wheeling spending habits have not been copied by other GM's? I think there's a lesson there...

Posted by: mikek on February 14, 2003 07:49 AM

Rocha:

Posted by: mikek on February 14, 2003 07:49 AM

Mikek:

Last year's Stanley Cup champs were the Detroit Red Wings. They had a payroll comparable to ours. They signed several key players and were fortunate enough to have the cash to accept the contracts of other key players when they became available. And while their core might have been pure Red Wings, they also have the resources to prevent those players from leaving the roost when free agency calls--resources that the majority of the league doesn't have. They were able to buy their championship.

Colorado did the same thing the year before.

You can buy Stanley Cup championships.

What you meant to say was, "THE RANGERS cannot buy a Stanley Cup championships." And for the reasons as to why, refer to the article listed above.

Posted by: Leedsy99 on February 14, 2003 03:42 PM

Brian,

You're only partially right about the Wings. While Ilych did throw a ton of money to buy players, there were some players who took less to go to Detroit and play for the Wings. Brett did. Also, how many players asked to be traded to Detroit so they could play on a winner. They might have gotten more money elsewhere, I don't have all the numbers. Luc, Cheli, Hasek and even Shanny all asked to go to Detroit. So far the only guy I can think of that they paid through the nose for was Cujo and he aint no Hasek. I think Manny is sometimes better.

The salaries are out of hand. Federov turned down 5 yrs/50 mil, that's outrageous! How many Ferrari's can he drive? What makes the wings work are the Grinders and the D. They all work together, a concept the Rangers fail to grasp!

Hey it's Valentine's Day. Let's hope the Rangers and all of us get lucky tonight! I'll probably get to see the let down in Buffalo. Hurley's Law!

Posted by: mhurley on February 14, 2003 06:02 PM

Leedsy:

Detroit was also smart enough to hire a COACH - and to pay him what he was worth. The Red Wings, and Avs, and Devils, and all of the recent Cup champs have a work ethic - which has been conspicuously absent at MSG over the past five seasons. Coincidence?

Posted by: mikek on February 14, 2003 10:08 PM

We have an outside shot at the playoffs and every Ranger fan from 8 to 80 is like a schoolgirl in love. One more time: Don't you just love 'em? That's my team! They may not make it, but NEVER will they go down without making noise and doing their best to fuck up the NHL in the process!

Posted by: Rocha on March 9, 2003 07:18 AM