OK....I've already admitted that I got nuthin. But I do have this urge to write something. So, let me think for a minute here....um, no...can't go there. Nope, not there either.

Damn.

Still nothing.

I guess I'm bothered by the fact that I'm the least accomplished writer on the site....and it's my site. The Rodent's work speaks for itself. I could never match the wit included in Rocha's Cards. I've never even come close to the humor offered by Brian Leeds' columns. I don't put forth the intellect included in Fact or Fiction articles penned by Gabe. I can't come close to the Wolf*Pack insight delivered by Heather......and Chris is a Dr. fer crying out loud.....no way I compare to that.

I'm just a dumb, former goalkeeper with a server, a domain name along with a few computer skills and the ability to drink and post at the same time. I seem to revel in the fact that I now posses the ability to publicly humiliate myself on a daily basis.

But write I must.

What if.....

I have been thinking about a what if scenario though......what if the Rangers play well ? What if the "Sather Plan" falls into place and things go right. No injuries, no more bad calls. No bad bounces that lead to goals against. What if for one season....things actually went our way ?

Assume for a second that Larry Brooks is wrong (I know, I'm asking a lot here) about Bure and he does play....and he lights the lamp as you and I know he can. Speculate with me on Eric Lindros returning to form and playing a more physical style....one he's been successful with in the past, without a single doink to the head. Add to that a full season of Alexie Kovalev, scoring goals without his dipsy doodle giveaways and every one of his plane flights end with a safe landing. Anson Carter returns to his solid play, meshing with his teammates and making dreadlocks popular in NYC. What if Messier returns, accepts a lesser role, passes his scoring milestone and helps the team win without as much as a single potato chip comercial being aired ?

Could it happen again ?.

Think about what could happen if Chris Simon regrew his hair and not only scared the crap out of opposing players, but also popped a bunch of goals. Consider the rest of the Ranger role players doing their job, hitting and scoring when the team really needed it. Getting the crowd at MSG to rise to their feet with unbridled excitement. Yeah....Sather rolling four lines, all effective....all the time.

Since we're just playing....why not also imagine a defense that works together as a solid unit. Mean and stingy in their own zone, clearing the crease and crushing opponents all while feeding beautiful break out passes....or leading the rush in odd man breaks. While I'm at it, how about a full season of solid goaltending from the Dude ? Dunham is not just stopping shots for us.....his stick handling takes pressure off the D allowing for a minuscule GAA and never once is he mentioned as being involved in a drug bust at a Phish concert.

Of course, to be successful, the penalty kill allows for some of the Rangers to take aggressive penalties in MSG without a Purinton suspention, making it a hard place for opposing teams to play. I'll need to the power play to have a man in front....taking advantage of enemy transgressions. Shots from the point that find their way to the back of the net, deflected or not. Yeah....I can see it all now. Sam Rosen screaming...."IT'S A POWER PLAY GOAL!" fills the airwaves.

In '94, part of the fun was winning when we weren't supposed too. It had been 54 years.....and each game was painful as the Rangers seemed to allow the Devs and 'Nucks back into games instead of closing them out as happened vs. the Isles and Caps. Somehow after that Cup, fans expected the Rangers to win. That can't be the case now....ten years later, six out of the playoffs....now way any of you EXPECT the Rangers to win now. It's just not possible...is it ?

So how cool would it be if this stupid fantasy of mine actually happened ? How much fun would it be if the Rangers were actually good this year ? How much enjoyment would you get out of reading the media blaming the Rangers for ruining the NHL while we were winning ? How much would you pay to see Sathers smug grin as he coached this team to a great season ?

I'm better off wishing for better quality beer at MSG for a lower price or a shot with the Olsen Twins. My guess is that little if any of my pipe dream will become reality....but in August, it's always fun to think....what if ....?

Now....where did I put that bong ?

----}- Bird

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