Rangers 5, Florida 2. Remember a few days ago when my evil twin hijacked this column and starting writing about how utterly insane Glen Sather was and how he needed to be taken out like Marlon Brando in "Apocalypse Now"? Remember that? Curse you, evil twin, for spreading such malicious propaganda. Overlord Sather is a genius. We are privileged to worship his noble visage. Not only did he bring us the gift of Jaromir (three points in his MSG debut), but he adjusted the lines, infused the roster with some youth, and provided a much needed win after that "thing" that happened last Saturday night (of which we shall never speak again). All hail Lord Sather! Kneel before his omnipotence. Bow before his might! Question not his job security! Etc.

Dude, Sure You, Um, Don't Need Some More Rest?

Jussi Markkanen faced a blitzkrieg of shots (40 total) and faired very well. Mike Dunham, meanwhile, says he's feeling great and ready to return. Wow, this is awkward. Um, maybe give yourself a few more days, dude, stretch out the 'ol groin and relax a little. Trust me, you really don't want to rush yourself back (hint hint). Anyway, rational thought suggests that the Rangers will continue to ride the hot goalie, in this case, the Jussinator. But Overlord Sather makes the final call, and since Overlord Sather is your intellectual superior -- don't question it, maggot! -- whatever decision he choses will be wisest and correct. Thus spakest Overlord Sather.

A Shot of Jagrmeister

Lame headline. Anyway, with a three-point night and about a dozen other chances to add to that total, I should be a little more optimistic in my assessment of the Jaromir Jagr trade. Perhaps the Rangers didn't just trade for Jagr to have better representation at the All-Star game. Granted he wanted to make an impression with his new home crowd, and it's going to be those slow nights on the road with a 240-pound defenseman strapped to his back that will make or break the Jagr Era on Broadway. Matched with Lindros and Martin Rucinsky creates some sort of uber line that would have fried a Playstation in 1995. I also want to point out that the first-name initials of this line (JEM) is the same as the old Legion of Doom line. Coincidence? I think not.

And Sather Saw All That He Made, And It Was Good

Behold the genius of Overlord Sather! The mighty Overlord sensed through means imperceptible to mere mortals like you and I that his lineup needed change, and so decreed that, now and forever more, the lines would be shaken toward his omnipotent desire. Alex Kovalev was placed with the Antichrist Petr Nedved (and the other Czech guy that I think washes the Overlord's car or something). While Bobby Holik -- who trifles with powers he does not understand when publically questioning the approach of his Supreme Overlord -- was placed with the righteous Matt Barnaby and young whelp Jamie Lundmark. And Lord Sather said, Let there be lines: and there were lines, and Lord Sather saw that they were good. Amen.

Leetch -- Still Bringing the Flava

I'm going to expand the mailsack again -- heh heh, I said mailsack -- and discuss Brian Leetch, because I get emails every now and then from ungrateful owners that say Leetch is killing their fantasy team. OK, fine, his +/- blows because he plays 30 minutes a night for an awful franchise and his defense has always been suspect anyway. That said, find me another defenseman that can score the way Leetch can. Maybe one of three defensemen in the league that can create his own shot. He's 10 points away from being in the top five among defensive scorers and he's played in less games than most of the pack. I'm not touting him for the Norris Trophy or anything, but you could do a lot worse. Three goals and 25 shots in the last five games, by the way.

Mailbag

Q: Are you an idiot? A: This question is in reference to the fact that, right after the Jagr trade, I went completely postal and started apoplectically ranting on some messageboards about how the Rangers repeat their own miserable history, run good players out of the organization, and don't showing any patience to let the team grow. In my madness I might have said something about how Tom Poti should be considered "a franchise player." I can't deny that this was said, nor blame it on Bud Tall Boys. So, forever doomed to wear this statement as my scarlet letter, Tom Poti will forever be known in this column as "Tommy Franchise." And as for the answer to the question above, I called Tom Poti a franchise player. Need I say more?

Next Game, Wednesday, Washington

Is it just me or do the Rangers always manage to trade for someone right before their old team is due in MSG, and what always happens is that the "other" player in the deal finds a way to stick it to them? I'm not even going to think about it. Anyway, it took all of one game to convince Rangers Nation that Jaromir Jagr is the franchise savior and that Overlord Sather operates on a level that we humans cannot comprehend, and with a fairly soft schedule coming up -- and by soft I mean that the payroll of our first-unit power play eclipses their entire roster -- maybe the Rangers can tally up some quick points and make things interesting down the stretch. All hail Overlord Sather for making this possible. Let's go Rangers.

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