So, this was going to be an attempt at a positive column saying, "Fine -- we're not going to make the playoffs, let's just enjoy some hockey." I have no plans to quit being a Ranger fan so I may as well take what I can get and find amusement in the circus like atmosphere and the monkeys flinging their poo. But this morning's news is all really depressing so I don't know. I guess I'll go with morbid fascination instead. Is that a severed arm sticking out of the wreckage of this slow motion train wreck? Sweet.

The Rodent wraps up last night's game for us. I need to quote a line for a second here:

"Kovalev was in outer space tonight. His mind is not right."

For the second game in a row. Kovy seriously seems to be suffering from dissotiative episodes out there on the ice. I think the season has caused him massive psychic trauama. He's going to get hurt if he doesn't get his head in the game. He is totally lost.

I found one thing to take joy in this morning -- a new fantasy hockey column by Mr. Leeds. You would have to be mentally ill or a terrorist to doubt the presense of hilarity in a Brian Leeds fantasy hockey column but, for those of you who still need convincing, two exerpts:

Anyway, I just don't see a completely naked Jennifer Garner returning to play hockey this season. You'll have to read the aricle for context on that one.

Tom Poti also returned to the lineup and had a solid game, maybe his best in weeks, which just goes to show that if you let him rest ten days between games and make sure that he doesn't try something crazy like tying his own skate laces, Tommy Franchise can be the all-star impact player that everyone expects him to be. Get off poor Tommy's back. Seriously. You might hurt him. He's very fragile.

While Leedsy is discussing Jennifer Garner dressed only in whip cream, Larry Brooks is focused on Jagr's tender groin. In today's article in The Post, Larry points out that the Rangers season is not going very well. There is also a horribly mean photo of Roenick but what do you expect from the post? More on both Roenick and Jagr's groin below...

The New York Times has an article I like to call "Everyone Loses." The Flyers lose Roenick and Primeau while the Rangers lose the game and possibly Jagr's groin.

Here is Dellapina is today's Daily News:

Down to their last few chances to prove they shouldn't be dismantled and
sold for parts at the trade deadline, the Rangers again failed.

I want to say that it's not like the team exactly sucked last night. They played a close, mostly disciplined game against one of the best teams in the league and, playing for the second time in two days, were deprived a point based on a goal that no one saw. But then, Bobby Holik, whose mouth has grown tiresome to many of us, made the following very valid point:

"We need wins, not ties or close games against good teams."

I guess that is the bottom line. Did you all see Holik spaz at the end of the game? My boy is pissed off. Frustrated. Disgusted. Mentally unstable. I'm not sure but, wow! I guess it's passion. Kinda like Howard Dean. YEEARGGHH!!!!!

Bird mentioned Roenick's wave to the Garden crowd. No mean feet for a man trying not to choke on his own blood while holding his jaw together. Roenick explained his wave saying, "It's not often that you get cheered in Madison Square Garden. Rangers fans showed a lot of class. I'm the type that likes to respond to something like that."

The Daily News also talks a little more about Jagr's potentially injured groin. You know what? It's been said before but, honestly, it's just getting insane. This team is cursed like no team in the history of sports. All star players either go insane or suffer career ending injuries here. I can't see why any player would want to play for the Rangers at this point. Future Ranger stars, spare us the false hope by taking out a $25 million dollar insurance policy and having Tanya Harding kneecap you instead.

More on the subject of Kovalev. I think this exerpt from the article is telling:

Kovalev was taken aback when asked about the penalty.

"You think that was my fault?" he asked. When told that Sather had said it
was, Kovalev cracked: "I'm not surprised. I'll take it."

This in regard to the too many men on the ice penalty. I guess a case could be made either way with regard to Kovalev's culpability but what's really sad is the tone of Kovalev's comment. The players are no longer even trying to hide their contempt for Sather. It's becoming a bad joke.

The Journal News has a nice quote from Mironov. Mironov looked good last night, despite the fact that he's playing injured. Regarding the slapshot he sent into Jeremy Roenick's face, Mironov said, "I feel really bad, I hope everything is OK for him. You don't want to see guys hurt like that. I just apologize.'' Let's all take a moment to appreciate Bobo and be glad he's a Ranger.

Arthur Staple's article in Newsday suffers from coming late in my roundup. There's this quote from Claude Lapointe, however. Regarding the collision between Holik and Primeau which resulted in Primeau's limping out of the game Lapointe said, "We didn't see it, but he's done that in the past. He cheap-shots guys all the time." Hey Claude -- bite me. If you didn't see it, keep your trap shut.

From the Star Ledger, two from Bridget Wentworth. One here and then another one here. (You can tell I'm running out of steam.)

Finally, the New York Times has two articles telling us that the NHL is pretty much screwed. That's just lovely. I'm going to go shoot heroin.

-- Rightbug

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