Hello NY and everywhere else, welcome to the Birdcage. It was this time last year that I was investigating the various ways I could get to see the NY Rangers on TV all the way down here in South Florida. Sure, we had just survived a few hurricanes and I was still looking for work but somehow I had to be able to see the games. The lockout delayed my decision on which service to get but I really believed we'd have some sort of season last year. Of course, that never happened so I was able to put off that decision.....until now.

So I'm looking into getting hooked up as we all know come Oct. 5th, we get our NHL back. I have checked out the satellite services and while they do offer some great packages it looks like I'll be going with the local cable company. It will end up being a cheaper solution in the end. But it bothers me. Up north I had issues with Cablevision. I hate them, still do. I swore I'd never give them another penny and I mean to stick by that. I'd sooner donate money to al-Qaeda than give the Dolan's another dime. They did have the best internet connection available (Optonline) and they were the only cable TV choice I had. But I hated them for the obvious reasons as well as some other issues I won't bother listing here.

When I moved in down here I already had a basic cable TV package at no additional charge and quickly added the cable modem service. The company is Adelphia, you know....the one whose owners used to own the Sabres and are now in jail. Great. While the service is fine the company itself is pretty screwed up. More than once over the last year I have been told by their customer service department that I'm not a customer of theirs. They even stopped sending me bills and I'm sure I got a few free months of service which is great until you lose the connection and need their help to restore it. They have now since created another account and once again I'm getting bills (at the lowered new customer special). These assclowns can't get much straight. You should know that Adelphia has been acquired by Comcast. Comcast is owned by the guy who owns the Flyers and the OLN network. I am about to sign with them for my TV package and I get the feeling I'm signing a deal with Satan himself. Schneider is not really a guy who I want to be giving money to and I can't believe I'll be helping pay Bobby Clarke's salary.

So I need to pay for a digital box ($4.50) in order to get the Center Ice package at $129. I also realize that I'd need OLN to see opening night and I'm told the only way to get it is to buy a package at the cost of $10. I have no choice so I'm adding that but the nice customer service rep reminded me about all the other channels I'm getting for my $10.....The Gardening channel, The Clothes Folding Network, The Treecare channel, 16 different Spanish channels, The Haitian News Network, ESPN's all poker and food eating contest channel, The Soap opera channel, six different fishing channels and something called I think, Crap TV. "Thanks Hajji, but I'm only interested in hockey", I said. "My name's not Hajji. What about some channels for your family members?" This outta be good I thought. "OK, Hajji. I have two little girls, let's see what ya got".

I expressed interest in a few channels my little girls would like and was offered a package at $13.45 that would get me those. Great I thought. Of course that doesn't include OLN according to Hajji. "I can offer you our super gold plus package for just $79.95 that will get you OLN and the kids channels", says the service rep. "Say Hajji, why can't I just get both packages you just told me about for $23.45? I mean that's the total if you add them together". "My name's not Hajji but hold on, let me ask". When he comes back he tells me he's not sure but reminds me if I select the super gold plus package I'd be getting 7 HBO's for free. "Um, Hajji....at $79.95 the term 'free' does not apply". Oh yeah....if I wanted a second digital box (so my wife can watch something else when I'm watching hockey) it's $6.50. Why not just direct deposit my paycheck right to them? You have got to be kidding me. I hate these guys too. Don't even get me started about the DVR charges Hajji told me about. Based on my calculations the services I need would cost about $362.48 a month, that seems a bit high, don't cha think?

"OK, Hajji, I'll have to get back to you", I said. "My name's not Hajji, I can schedule an installation for you now, it's only $25". "Hajji, can you hear me OK?". "Yes I can", he says. "OK, I want you to listen to this.......CLICK".

I know when I call back I'll be connected to his brother, who I will also call Hajji.

Enough of my rambling about cable TV. I'm feeling disconnected being so far away from NY. I don't feel plugged in to the NY hockey scene. Sure, I can read all the local papers online and I get plenty of info from readers and my sources but it's just not the same. I miss going to the rink and skating with guys who play in the NHL. I missed out on skating with the Russian born players who show up at the Long Beach rink. I miss skating with Islander players at Syosset. I miss talking to the hockey dads and moms at the various rinks and watching the kids play. Those were great ways to get a real feel for what was happening in the NHL beyond the mainstream media. That connection with real NHL fans is not something I can reproduce down here. Don't get me wrong, there will be thousands of snowbirds down here in a few weeks that love hockey. But they won't be plugged in and neither will I. Few if any of the Canadians that winter down here like the Rangers at all. I have no need to hear about how the Rangers are ruining hockey in a French accent, I can always read the comment section at TSN for that.

Since I can't cover the NY Rangers and the NHL without actually seeing it, I will find a way to come up with the cash and feed the evil that is Comcast. I may even begin going to some of the local rinks including the one where the Panthers practice......but it's just not the same. I still feel disconnected.

Oh, did I mention that Hajji and his brother are coming over for dinner? It's the least I can do for all the help they're providing me. They'll be coming this weekend, but I told them dinner will be at my other house which is located on the Gulf Shore in Texas. I told them to bring their bathing suits.

----}- Bird

Recent Articles Verses Playoff Coverage Road Trip Pics

Web Hockeybird.com