Bird flew the coop, HDH is away, and Rocha's out supporting the AARP at the Jets game. That leaves me to watch the Hockeybird house for a while ... he said, sliding into the living room in his underware to the opening sounds of Bob Segar's "Old Time Rock & Roll." Wow. That reference is over twenty years old. I think I'll go fix myself a bowl of tapioca with a nice glass of prune juice.

Starting at the top, here's cranky ol' Uncle Larry Brooks with his staple Slapshots article and (gasp!) something actually kind of positive about the Rangers. Regarding the former, "Players still getting screwed" -- blah blah blah. They made their own bed, now they get to lie in it. The only interesting thing in the piece is the bit about there being another fatty in the league aside from Chubs Tkachuk. [Insert Pavel Brendl joke here.]

Regarding the latter, absolutely brilliant move last night by Tom Renney in benching Tom Poti and Jamie Lundmark against the Devils. Whether viewed as punishment for bad play or simply a wake-up to two of his Ranger elder statesmen, the message is very clear: no one gets a free ride on the Rangers anymore. And to think, I called Tom Renney the "Manchurian Coach" after you could barely see Glen Sather's lips moving when Renney spoke at their press conferences. And he also cut his Gabe Kaplan-like afro before last night's tie/loss thing against the Devils. Good times right now for the Rennster.

Game summary from the Devils' point of view by The Post's Mark Everson, who apparently was watching a different game than I was last night. Where I saw an aging Devils team get absolutely thumped by some no-name kids last night, only to have their bacon saved by Martin Brodeur, Everson saw a victory "cobbled from the scraps of determination." Sigh. This is exactly why no one likes the Devils. Good luck cobbling scraps against teams that can actually finish their scoring chances.

John Dellapina over at the Daily News gives us the more accurate summary, festooned with little gold stars and Care-Bear stickers for the plucky Blueshirt Babies. Must be exciting times to cover the Rangers right now. Not only do you get spirited play and some point production in the standings, but you no longer have to hold your shirt over your nose to mask the rotten old person stench emanating from the lockerroom. Even Steve Zipay at Newsday is feeling the love.

Also buried at Newsday is another quick piece by Zipay with a tiny blurb about Rangers defenseman Jason Strudwick. Good to see the guy getting some press. For months I thought the name "Strudwick" was just a typo or one of those "Here, take 'em" roster-filler guys that we inherited at the end of 2003, and maybe his long-term contribution to the team is just being the answer to the trivia question "Who scored the first goal of the season during the Rangers Cup run in 2005?" But for a guy found on the slag heap, he's been pretty stable so far this season. Welcome to the Rangers, Jason.

Of course, at any party, someone always shows up to pee in the punchbowl. I'm not even going to comment on this. But if John Davidson ever says something to the effect of "the positive influence that Mark Messier set for these kids" as being a key to their current success, I'm throwing a brick through my TV set.

Cute little Q&A with John Davidson. Also, Game summary at the Star-Ledger. Kudos for mentioning the impressive debut of goaltender Henrik Lundqvist, who was so quietly capable that you don't even realize what a significant moment last night was in Rangers history. This guy has a great chance at being the Rangers goalie for the next decade. You'd think it would be a big deal. In their defense though, apparently there's a baseball game today or something.

NY Times -- meh. There's also apparently a Dave Anderson piece about Sidney Crosby, but I guess you have to pay for it. Don't bother. For the next few months a lot of these tired hacks are going to be falling over themselves to catch up with the sport, and not a single one of them is going to tell us anything that we didn't already know. Sidney Crosby is the new face of the NHL? You don't say.

Speaking of Sid the Kid, he scored his first NHL goal last night. If the headline "Crosby, Lemieux shine, Pens still lose" doesn't give you a giggle, I don't know what will. Maybe something here.

Lastly, never hurts to look at the standings. Three games in, zero losses. Sigh. Ron Low must be spinning in his grave.

Stay inside, drink something warm, and watch some football. I have to go chase Guido the killer pimp to get Bird's crystal egg back. It's been real, kids. Go Yankees.

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