Dismantled. That's how I'd describe what the Rangers did to the Isles last night. Does anyone know what that word really means? It means to un-mantle someone. To take away their mantle. Guys like Alexei Yashin and Brad Lukowich woke up this morning to find their mantle missing. "Where's my mantle?" says Jason Blake. "It was here yesterday, and then I went and played in that embarassing loss to the Rangers, and now it's gone." Meanwhile Steve Rucchin is at home, keeping it real with Blake's mantle. Good times.

It's official: Steve Zipay has officially passed Larry Brooks as my favorite New York Rangers beat writer. Not only do you get a good summary of last night's Fishstick Bonanza, but he also adds a bonus feature about Colton Orr. And check out the Tom Renney quote from that article: "I don't mind fights, I don't mind them at all. [Pensive pause for dramatic effect.] Especially when you win them." BAM! In your face, Eric Godard!!! And don't forget to check out the cover of Newsday, where Freddy Tyutin looks like he's about to introduce Mark Parrish to the mysteries of Brokeback Mountain. Again, good times.

Hearing the footsteps, Uncle Larry hits back with a decent "Shame on you, New York" article that might have been interesting to read if we hadn't already beat the point to death on the message boards. Meanwhile, Evan Grossman gets the nod to provide the game summary for The Post, in which he deftly describes the Isles as "a pick-up team," "overmatched," "cowering," and "spastically peeing on themselves ." OK, I made the last one up. But I wasn't off by much.

"Rangers Bury Isles," says John Dellapina at the Daily News. This one might make you want to start Friday a little early today. Not only does it feature one of the better pictures you'll see all season, a sprawled Rick DiPietro helplessly failing for the puck, but you also get what is now officially my favorite quote of the entire 2005-06 Rangers season, courtsey of the beleagured Kevin Weekes:

"When you look around our locker room you can see the type of character we have on this team, and we had a lot of guys from different age groups that were very vocal about giving me a chance to get into the game. And I'm very appreciative of that. When you see teammates do that -- when they even think that way and then express it prior to a game and then go out and play with that type of mind-set -- any goalie will tell you, you're very thankful."

It's a little misty right now in my apartment. Next time one of you are at the Garden, and the idiot next to you decides to boo Kevin Weekes, you have my full permission to punch them in the face.

Jason Diamos at the Times with another feel-good Weekes article. Nothing new. And with nothing to add, well, I guess I'll say it: can someone at least give the Isles a bit of a break for being distracted last night by the Kevin Colley situation? Imagine how the Rangers would react if the same thing happened to Jed Ortmeyer. Not good times. Anyway, best of luck to the health and future of the tough Mr. Colley. As for the rest of the Isles, I wish that they all experience burning sensations when they urinate.

Around the league, Scott Stevens to have his numbered retired at the Meadowlands, which under any other circumstance would mean that the Sopranos are taking you off their Christmas card list. This would be a real honor if anyone actually gave a rat's ass.

In happier news, four of nine games last night were decided by shootout -- yay. The boiling-hot Sabres beat the Flyers, 4-2. Ryan Miller starts in goal for Team USA, right? Just asking. Their manhood repeatedly challenged by me on this page, the surging Bruins topped the sputtering Habs, 3-1. And with Sidney Crosby sitting out with the sniffles, Ottawa spotted the Pens two goals before scoring seven straight. If the Penguins were a classic heartbreaking children's story, you'd be fetching your rifle right now and leading John Leclair to the back of the woodshed.

Are you ready for some football!!! Superbowl Sunday is just a few days away. And what Superbowl week would be
complete without a crazed athlete reminding everyone what sports is really about -- hate, killing, and "tapping" people out. Apparently someone has no plans to go to Disneyland after the game. "That's just Joey being Joey," said head coach Bill Cower. "Some guys get fired up with music or motivational speeches, he likes to make violent and murderous threats to his opponents. It's all in good fun. Seriously though, don't make eye contact with him. He'll kill you." I love sports.

You know what else I love? This begs an obvious question that I'll leave to the rest of you to ask -- something something, cuts like a knife. Between the Rangers crushing the Isles, Superbowl Sunday, and the words "She had just come out of the shower so she was still wet and had some lotion on," I think it's safe to say that my weekend is made. Gooood times.

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