You know that old theory about finding some consolation in losing when that loss comes at the hands of a team that goes on to win everything? Well, how does it feel to know that you got rolled by a team that themselves got rolled one week later?

It's actually not so bad.

First, whether it comes against the Carolina Hurricanes, a squirt hockey team, or the old Red Army squad, it's always fun watching the Devils lose. Always. It's doesn't even have to be hockey either. I'd pay money to watch these guys drop money in Vegas or lose a sack race at the Lamoriello family picnic. Second, it allows me to gloat over being right in the face of the dozens of NHL commentators and press types that were fellating this yo-yo bunch two weeks ago. The fact is that the Rangers stunk and the Devils were sleepwalking into wins (and not exactly being modest about it). So now when guys like John Madden, Jamie Langenbrunner, and Richard Matvichuk look like they haven't seen a hockey stick in months, people are going to start in with the individual sniping and the "What happen to these guys?" comments -- they weren't that good to begin with. Everything went wrong with the Rangers in the first round, everything went right for the Devils, and now that those "perfect storm" conditions have died down, this really just looks like a another classic playoff beating between one team living off of Rod Brind'Amor's heart while the other is collapsing under Scott Gomez's smirk. Gotta love the playoffs.

In other playoff news, Ducks swept the Avalanche, and right now look like the team to beat out West. In fact, talking about the West, Sharks-Oilers tonight in their Game Four, with San Jose up in that series, 2-1. Joe Thornton hoisting a Stanley Cup over his head this season would be the ultimate nut-punch to Boston sports, while Scott Niedermeyer doing the same in California really solidifies his status as one of the great defensemen of modern hockey. Both intriguing teams, both with other interesting angles ... and both in the Pacific Time Zone. Yawn.

In the East, Ottawa took their must-win game against the surprising Sabres, 2-1. Buffalo looked a tad bit nervous in that game, which might not be a good sign against the Sens. The other interesting thing I took away from this game -- and actually in all these series so far -- both Ryan Miller and Ray Emery are rookies. Add in Cam Ward of the Canes and we're basically looking at a Stanley Cup that will feature a kid goalie against either Vesa Toskala or Ilya Brgzlzlvlzv. Is it that the vets just didn't step up this year, or is this just one of those weird seasons where suddenly a whole crop of great position players break out, like the year in baseball when Jeter, Nomar, and Tejada seemed to happen at once? I dunno. Either way, if I'm an NBC marketing guy and I have to pitch the "Toskala! Ward! It's the 2006 Stanley Cup Finals!" storyline, I might want to dust off my resume right now.

Rounding out hockey, Wang has balls. Yet another chapter in the ongoing "Who own de Isles?" saga. And the Maple Leafs hire another retread in Paul Maurice. I was going to add a "Jeff O'Neill unavailable for comment" joke, but even I didn't get it.

Man breaks wrist, and a nation mourns. Not good times. I'm not throwing in the towel yet by any means, but watching the Yankees lose last night, or rather the way that they lost -- every bad break both literally and figuratively going against them -- this might finally be that year when the magic officially comes to an end. You can just feel it. I wasn't even pumped for the latest Boston series, and found myself casually flipping between the game and old episodes of "Cops." I know it's early and all, but I just feel like we're only going through the motions right now, not very enthusiastic, mechanical even. Basically, I feel like it's just a matter of time before Derek Jeter comes home early and catches me in bed with the Detroit Tigers. Maybe they should call up another kid ...

Mets ... something ... blah blah blah ...

An expensive disaster movie about a sinking ship? Does Isiah Thomas have anything to do with it? No? Count me in.

Lastly, citing "exhaustion," we're taking a break from linking Lindsay Lohan because, well, she looks like an old leather belt. She's like a cross between a carrot stick and a PSA for melanoma. Just sad, but if this serves as her wake-up call, I'll be a happy man. In the meantime, we're going to rotate Hollywood tramps each week, sort of like the way that Johnny Carson went with guest hosts during a vacation. This week it's Paris Hilton, not just because she's looking somewhat frisky in this photo but because she has a new video game coming out called ... wait for it ... "Paris Hilton's Jewel Jam." Apparently the game's original name, "Paris Hilton's Money-Shot Spunk Dumpster" didn't test well in the focus group. See Linds? This is the type of outrageous crap you're going to have to do to get back in the game.

TGIF! I finished finals on Wednesday and I'm officially on vacation for the next two weeks. Where am I spending my time? Glad you asked. Burp!

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